Happy fucking birthday. Let’s get drunk. Let’s get weird. Let’s get naked. Let’s buy some balloons that finally say everything we’ve always wanted to, and give them to everyone that just got older, because hey, you survived another year! And that’s something worth celebrating. It’s party time, motherfuckers. You want some inappropriate birthday cards, sarcastic birthday cards, rude birthday cards? Yeah we got all that. We have funny birthday cards and funny birthday party balloons of course. Get some adult birthday party balloons while you’re at it, because we all know that vulgar birthday parties are the best. Cheers, bitches.